Part 6

The hallway leading to the backstage area was quite crowded, with stage techs and other assorted crew members coming and going in both directions. The three-hour concert had only just ended moments ago, but the load out had started the second the house lights came back on, perhaps even before.

Clare shuffled along the narrow (at least it seemed that way) passageway, directly behind Fiona. More than once she had to hit the brakes, causing Chris Ferguson to run into the back of her every time. Fergie kept apologizing, finally adding, “I’m really not hitting on you, I promise.”

“I like you and all, Ferg, but this tactic wouldn’t get you anywhere even if you were,” Clare responded over her shoulder just as she crashed into Fiona. More carnage as Chris again failed to stop in time and squashed her. “Oof.”

“Sorry.”

The human traffic jam eased abruptly as the hall emptied into the “backstage” area, which was actually not backstage at all, but underneath several sections of seating. The NASA group, numbering eleven, scurried to get out of the way of the hand trucks and stacks of equipment that were already being rolled out through the back and onto waiting trucks. Clare scanned the room in search of Neil; she wasn’t sure if her current status as his date allowed her the privilege of roaming around unescorted.

Fiona noticed and smiled. “Looking for your man?” she asked. “There he is.” Clare followed Fi’s direction and spotted Neil on the other side of the room, rooting through a cooler. As she was trying to decide if it was a good time to approach him, he looked up and saw her. His face lit up and he waved her over.

“And oh. My. God,” Clare heard her friend exclaim in a low voice.

She touched Fiona’s arm lightly. “Excuse me for a minute, would you?”

“Sorry. I’m afraid I reek, “ Neil warned before giving her a light kiss on the lips. “I’m just giving this towel a soak in the ice, so I can use it to cool off” – he indicated the cooler – “but it’s a temporary fix until I get a shower.” He stopped and looked at her, brows raised under the bandanna tied around his head. “So. What did you think? Did you enjoy it, I hope?” He wrung out the towel and shivered as he draped it around his neck, then mopped his face with it.

“Neil, it was amazing. It really was, I’m not just saying that.” Clare meant it. The music she had heard so often around the office took on a completely new dimension in a live performance. She’d remained on her feet throughout the entire show, absorbed in the songs and in watching Neil and his bandmates. “I especially liked the one about the car chase, and the instrumental you guys played at the end,” she added.

“Oh yes, the car chase song. I like that one too!” The voice boomed from about six inches behind her. Clare gave a little jump of surprise, then turned her head to face the speaker, a big blond man whom she recognized as the guitarist, Alex. He flashed her an enormous grin, all white teeth and mischief, and stuck out his hand. “Alex Lifeson. You’d have to be Clare the astronaut.”

Clare took his hand, shook it. She couldn’t resist. “Um, no, actually, I’m not.” She heard Neil make a noise that sounded like a half-snort, half-laugh. Alex’s grin vanished and he struggled to cover his tracks, while Clare waited a beat before coming to his rescue. “Kidding. Yes, I am Clare. Nice to meet you, and great performance. I really, really enjoyed it.“

Alex visibly relaxed now that he knew his foot was safely out of his mouth. “Good one, okay, you got me. I like her, Neil. Now then, Clare,” he said, his voice full of mock solemnity.

“Yes?” There was something about Alex that just made her want to start laughing, but not in a mean way. He radiated good-naturedness and humor.

“Whatever Neil has told you about me, keep in mind that most of it is probably true. Especially the part about the emus. But he’s lying about the harpsichord and the ducks, totally making it up.”

“I’ll bear that in mind, thanks for telling me. Emus true, ducks bullshit, got it,” Clare assured him, barely suppressing her giggles. Alex patted her on the back.

“Really, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And your cohorts. Now we know the reason behind all of Neil’s lengthy disappearances since we got to Houston. Also why he’s decided to ditch us for the drive to Virginia and fly in late instead.” Behind Clare, Neil coughed quietly, which apparently alerted Alex that he was on the verge of saying too much. “Well, that would be my cue to just put a sock in it, if I had one handy. Anyway, it was lovely to make your acquaintance.” He bowed so low Clare thought he might fall over, then kissed her exaggeratedly on both cheeks before spinning theatrically on one heel and striding off.

Clare turned to Neil, who wore a bemused expression. “Is he like that all the time?”

“I’d estimate that 23 of 24 hours in the day, including sleep time, yes, he’s like that. Easily the funniest person I have ever known in my life. And you scored major points with that mistaken-identity trick. It’s very, very difficult to put one over on Lerxst.” He took her hand. “Come on. There are a couple of other people I’d like to introduce you to, then we’ll get moving. This is a departure from standard procedure, by the way, “ he added, steering her gently around a rolling pallet stacked high with equipment. “We usually can’t leave fast enough, but everyone wanted to ‘see the astronauts’.”

“Hey, Pratt! Stop a second, would you, I need to get a few things straight before you disappear for the night. I’m sorry, this will only take a minute or two,” the speaker apologized to Clare. It was Michael, Neil’s security guy. He led Neil off to the side and Clare was left standing by herself.

She did her best to stay out of the way while Neil and Michael conferred; at the same time, she looked around to see what the rest of her colleagues were doing. She noticed Fiona talking to a tall skinny guy with longish brown hair and Converse high-top sneakers. Fi glanced over, saw her and waved, then motioned her over.

“Clare, this is Geddy Lee, I don’t know if Neil introduced you two.” Fiona spoke casually, as if she and Rush's lead singer had been running into each other at the same parties for years. “Geddy, this is Clare, Neil’s, er, friend.”

“So you’re the one who’s behind all the fuss.” But he said it with a friendly smile, no implication that she’d inconvenienced anyone.

Still, Clare felt compelled to apologize. “I’m sorry. Neil explained that you usually bolt after a show, and it’s really cool that you stayed behind for us. Thanks, and I loved the performance. Fi probably told you I haven’t seen you guys live before.”

“No need for apologies,” Geddy reassured. “It’s not a bother; it’s nice to meet all of you and very flattering that we seem to have so many fans at NASA. Neil says you’re going into space soon?”

Neil had been talking about her to his bandmates? She considered the significance of that detail for a moment before answering Geddy. “Five months,” she replied, then added, “as it stands now. We know better than to make any non-refundable vacation plans around launch schedules.”

Geddy laughed. “I’ll bet. So, on your spacewalks, if I’m watching, can I tell which one’s you?” His manner was as low-key as Alex’s was exuberant, but he seemed sincere, not as if he were just making small talk to be polite and kill time. As they talked, it became evident that Neil had indeed spoken of her at some length. It was flattering, no question, but she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. If anything. Jebus, she thought, am I so far out of practice on the dating scene that I've forgotten what the normal standards are?

Fifteen minutes later she was leaned against the passenger door of the Jaguar and Neil was kissing her intently. The trucks were starting to peel out one by one as they were loaded to capacity, filling the air with diesel fumes. And the noise was at near-deafening decibel levels, but Clare was oblivious to the activity. "Wow," was all she could manage when Neil broke the kiss.

He smiled at her in the semi-darkness. "Couldn't wait for that. I know I need a shower, sorry." He leaned forward, pressed his forehead against hers. "So, let's take care of that, and then we can decide further plans. Hungry?"

"Not starving, but I can always eat." So she was taking him back to the hotel so he could shower, presumably while she hung around in the room and waited while he was doing naked things in the bathroom. Okay. Another question for the "is this normal early dating practice" category. It didn't bother her, exactly, it just felt. . .different. Which brought another question to mind.

Clare pulled her seatbelt across and snapped it shut. "So you're sticking around Houston tomorrow?" She asked the question conversationally. "Alex made that reference to you not leaving with the band."

"I know." Neil paused. "And now I can see it was a little impulsive and presumptuous. I didn't think to ask if you might be free, or if you were, that you would want to spend your Sunday with some crabby old guy." Out of the corner of her eye, Clare saw him turn and give her a slightly self-deprecating smile. "It's just, I am really enjoying being with you. I don't want to leave just yet. And them's the facts."

"No, it's fine," Clare made the turn into the hotel drive. Her mind was suddenly quite jumbled, and her next words escaped her lips before she could finish forming the thought. "But what about the next day, and the one after that? Or two weeks from now? Have you thought ahead and made or changed plans for what's supposed to happen then? It's fine that you enjoy being with me, but think about it from my side of things. Because you have to go back out on tour, and I have to go back to work on Monday and it's going to get crazy from here until after the mission is completed, and when your tour is over you live in freaking Canada, for Jah's sake, which is about as far from Houston as it's possible to get and still be in North America, and. . .oh, fuck, you're sitting there thinking I've completely lost it, aren't you?" Behind them, another driver laid on the horn and Clare realized she'd stopped dead in the drive sometime in the midst of her outburst. She gave an apologetic wave and drove slowly back to the concierge entrance, deliberately avoiding looking at Neil.

After several very long and silent moments, Neil reached over and laid his hand on top of hers on the gear shift. He cleared his throat. "Lass, hey, now, no, I don't think you've 'completely lost it'. You bring up a lot of valid points and I've been pondering those same questions. Come on, just park the car. Let's talk about this. And then you decide where you want to go from here. If you just want to drop me off and go home, that's all right. Well," he corrected himself, "no, it isn't. I'd be disappointed. But I'd understand."

Clare parked the car as directed, but she was still horrified by her unexpected outburst and couldn't bring herself to look at Neil. Finally he reached over, took her chin gently in his fingers. "Clare, lass, look at me?" She bit her lip, hard, and slowly raised her eyes to meet his. And he looked so sweet, and so concerned, that for some reason it almost made her feel as if she were on the verge of tears.

"All right, then, that's a little better." Neil once again took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Bear with me, because I'm not very good at talking about this kind of thing. In a cop-out way I'm glad you said what you did. I'll get right to the point and tell you that I want to try to see where we can go from here. You and I, that is. I know it's asking a lot, you haven't known me long, but you, you're just, there's something about you that gets me, I can't describe it. Um, yeah, I know the circumstances are less than ideal. But there are mitigating factors."

"Such as? I'm sorry, I suck at this too." In truth, Clare was still trying to process the "you and I" part. Her stomach had done that funny flippy thing again when Neil had said those words, but the cautious side of her was trying to make itself heard.

Neil gave a little half-laugh. "Well, I've been doing this band thing for a while. And I've managed to make a little money doing it, which allows some freedom to travel back and forth. Or to fly you to where I am, whichever works. And I won't be touring forever. Loads of free time once that's done." He stopped suddenly. "Unless. . .I hadn't ever thought to ask before now, but, um, are you, ah, seeing anyone right now?" He winced a little as he said it.

It was Clare's turn to laugh now. "Neil, you're going to think I'm pathetic, but my last relationship ended three years ago. Since then I've had one really, really bad blind date. That's it. So, I'm a little out of practice. I've been the stereotypical socially inert nerd, you could say." Feeling a little more sure of herself, she went on. "Plus there's the whole thing with you being in a successful band, not that it's a problem or anything per se, but you know there are always all those stories about groupie chicks and stuff. I know that sounds stupid, and you don't seem that type at all," she quantified.

Neil wasn't offended. "What gave it away? The fact that I hung up on your answering machine countless times before getting the nerve to leave one silly message, or that I got all flustered and tongue-tied when I was around you? It's not stupid for you to wonder that, but the truth is that Rush have never been like that. Alex and Geddy have both been faithfully married for years, and I, well, I'm just me. Now the crew can be a different story, but as a band we rank pretty low on the scale of newsworthy hijinks." He was still holding her hand, and now he gave it another squeeze. "So. What are your thoughts, at least right now? As I said, I have a break in the tour schedule in a couple of weeks, so there's that. . ." He left the sentence trailing and looked anxiously, hopefully at her.

Clare took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly. And for the moment kicked caution to the curb. "Yes," she said finally, and the way Neil's face lit up gave her butterflies again. "It's a little out there, you're right, given that I met you only a little over 48 hours ago. I haven't done the long-distance thing before, in truth haven't heard a lot of positive things about it, but yeah. What it comes down to is that yes, I want to keep seeing you. But you have to promise me one thing," she added, trying to sound stern despite the ear-to-ear grin she knew was plastered across her face.

"Anything. What?" Neil was positively beaming, and now he leaned across the console to kiss her.

Clare kissed him back. "That you'll let me buy my own plane tickets. At least once in a while. I dunno, it just seems right. Maybe a little silly and pointless, but right." She kissed his cheek, propped her chin on his shoulder. She felt lightly, almost inanely happy.

"Ach, lass, if it makes you happy you can buy your own airline." He buried his nose in her hair and gave her braid a gentle, affectionate tug. "We'll just sort of figure it out as we go. And now," he said, fumbling for the door latch, "before I completely reek up your car to the point where you'll never get the smell out. . .I'm glad we got that straightened out a little." He shut the door and put his arm around her as they crossed the lot. "And by the way, 'nerd' is the last description that comes to mind when I think of you." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"Oh I don't mind," she answered. "Some of us nerds actually think it's a bit of a compliment. And as for you being a crabby old guy, I'd hardly call you crabby, in fact you're very sweet in a middle-aged kind of way. . ." she teased.

Neil laughed out loud, that warm, deep laugh she was getting so attached to, and took a mock swing at her. She giggled and ducked, then ran laughing to the door.